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  • Writer's pictureEllen Krohne

My Joy

Like most of us who write, sometimes I get blocked.  You know, that feeling you have nothing to say, nothing to add to the world of written words. 

When I get this condition, I turn to those around me for inspiration.  My husband, Bill, who I am living in a camper with in Texas for a few months this winter, just laughed at me today and said, “I’ve got nothing for you.” 

The next person I asked this morning to help unblock me was my daughter, Joy.  She has grown not just into a strong, smart woman and mother, but my confidant and friend.  She’s often my go-to for inspiration and encouragement. 

This morning she shared with me, “Mom, I’ve had several friends’ parents die in the last month.  This makes me scared, knowing I’ll never be ready for you or Dad to not be here.”

She took a deep breath and then my problem solver daughter said, “So, I’ve decided on a solution.  You will just have to go after I die, so that means you must live to be 130.  I’ll be 100 and pass, and only then can you!”

We laughed, and I told her I’d better start taking better care of myself if I was going to live that long!


I understand her concern, knowing well how one day can change everything, as it did when my mother died suddenly years ago.

And that no matter how prepared we are, losing a parent is hard.

And I know there is nothing I can say in this blog or do in my life that will take that hurt away when we die. 

And, there is nothing I would do. 

Sorry, Joy. 

Going through grief, whether for a parent or a child or a friend, is a part of each of our life’s journey.  Going through grief makes us grow, helps us to become who He intends us to be.  It’s one of the hardest parts of our journey of life, for sure, and it’s difficult to acknowledge that this “growth” is the right thing for you.

But, taking time while grieving to self-reflect and discover can make grief one of the most memorable and profound times in a life.  Understanding that grief never ends, if the person who is gone remains in the heart and memory of those who loved them, they will be missed. 

So, I hate to tell you, my beautiful daughter, Joy, that I wish you grief when I am gone.  I’ll work hard to live my life so that you have lots of memories of a life that is meaningful, loving and kind.  One that you will grow from and remember and smile when I am gone.  Before I’m 130.

If you or someone you love is grieving and struggling with the journey, help is available.  Heartlinks Grief Center provides grief support to all ages, regardless of ability to pay.  If you are grieving or know someone who could use assistance on their grief journey, please contact Heartlinks Grief Center at 618-277-1800 or email

Proceeds from the sale of my books are donated to help support Heartlinks Grief Center, a program of Family Hospice of Belleville, IL.

Be blessed,


“We Grow Stronger Together”

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